Loss of Chance
by somesortofabibliophobia
Summary: Severus Snape never knew what is was like to be loved by the woman he loved. Lucius Malfoy never knew what it was like to not get what he wanted. With years set between, this is a tale spanning a lifetime where love and reality are never one and the same.
1. Part 1

_A/n: Hey everyone! This is my first time posting on here although I have read loads of amazing fics on here. This is also my first ever HP fic. Please enjoy._

_Giant shoutout of thanks to nuclear_glitter for being the awesome beta for this story._

_Please review!_

Part 1

Severus Snape was good at ignoring people. Often enough they would leave him alone, figuring he was as much of a werido as everyone said he was.

But _him._He wouldn't leave. Everyday at the same time and place, he came and just _watched. _He didn't even try to hide the fact he was watching Severus.

_Malfoy's are too damn proud_, he thought. _They can't ever take a no for an answer_.

To be truthful, it wasn't even Severus's fault. He never wanted that rubbish to get around. But he wasn't especially popular with the Slytherins—or really anyone for that matter—so of course no one would listen to him. Yes, he was doing something less than appropriate in the showers but how was he to know anyone would walk in? He didn't even know it was Malfoy in the shower next to him and that somehow those idiots who barged in would make some connection between him and that egotistical blond.

Hell, he wasn't even thinking about Malfoy. He was thinking about Lily. She infuriated him. She was a muggle born. She had scores almost as high as his. She was horribly beautiful. He couldn't help it. Every time he saw her or they spoke, there was a stirring in a certain naughty part of him. It was just because he was fifteen, that's all. All it really was was hormonal attraction. He was still sane; that he was sure of.

Lily hadn't been as nice to him recently. Well, maybe he hadn't been as nice to her recently. Something like that. Of course, it was all Potter's fault. That piece of dung seemed to be all she cared about. She alwayed talked about him with Severus, praising him like he was some lord. Severus didn't know when it all happened; last year she hated his guts and this year the two were almost a…couple. It revolted Severus, who knew Potter didn't deserve her. She was…well, she deserved someone better. Someone like him. Yeah, Severus and Lily. Potter could go into a dragon's lair for all he cared.

Maybe his dislike for Potter had shone through too harshly or maybe she had gotten a whiff of the Severus and Lucius rumor. Whatever the matter, Lily didn't seem to be as fond of him as she used to be. Plus, now he had a blond stalker to deal with.

"Hey, Snape."

Oh, Merlin. The cheeky bastard first invaded his private space and now he felt the need to talk.

"What?" hissed Severus.

"Why do you always come here?" Malfoy flicked some white blond hair over his shoulder and scanned the tiny courtyard.

"It's _private_." Severus placed emphasis on the "private," but of course Malfoy was too thick to understand.

"Hm. Interesting." Malfoy smirked. "I could show you some private areas."

Severus rolled his eyes. It was well known that the wealthy boy was very promiscuous and didn't mind doing it with anything human that had two legs. Rumor had it that he even had "special relationships" with professors. Of course, since this couldn't be proven (or more likely, the Malfoy family payed to make sure any evidence was over looked) there had been no charges.

But what bothered Severus most was the fact that the git had made statements alluding to his (dare he even think it) penis, even after he has obviously shown Malfoy he had no interest in him, friendship or otherwise.

"I am doing quite well here. Although may I suggest for you to visit those _areas_ by yourself and leave me _alone._"

Malfoy raised one eyebrow delicately and stood up, reaching his arms up toward the sky in a stretch. He glazed around the courtyard again. It was surrounded by castle walls on three sides and opened up to the northern side of the Forbidden Forest, far from the Black Lake and other students. Severus was surprised Malfoy had even found it; most students didn't even know this courtyard existed.

He crossed from his side to sit on the rock next to Severus. "If you ever want to see them, visit me." He placed a piece of folded parchment between them. "You can always close your eyes and pretend I'm a certain redhead," he mischievously whispered.

Severus stiffened, but refused to look up from his book. _What…?_

He laughed. "Oh, don't look so shocked, Snape. You're more obvious than a mudblood. But as I said, visit me."

Malfoy winked before turning and walking away.

* * *

><p>Severus searched through his bag. Where was it? He turned his satchel inside out and watched as textbook after textbook fell out but not what he needed.<p>

He searched though the books scattered on his bed but couldn't find it. It wasn't until he had almost given up hope that he found it wedged between the yellowing old pages of his Potion's book.

_Yes!_ He grabbed the novel and sprinted out of his room, through the common area, and toward the library.

This book was almost a month late. And he knew the policy almost too well: A book a month late without excuse meant detention. He knew the person in charge of detention this month was Professor Dumbledore, who although fair had never seem to particularly like Severus.

He ran by people, bumping into so many he was surprised no one had hexed him yet. He bolted into the library and handed in the book to the assistant there.

She smiled and told him the library would be closing in exactly one minute.

He sighed, relieved. He was about to walk away when the librarian called him back.

"You forgot this, Mr. Snape." she handed him a folded piece of parchment. He accepted the paper with some confusion, unfolding it has he walked away. As he read a room number and a time, he frowned. This was the note Malfoy had given him over a month and a half ago. The boy had stopped invading his courtyard, but he kept making snide remarks when he was around Severus. He didn't know what to make of it, so he assumed Malfoy was being his usual git self. Now, he realized it was because he hadn't accepted his invitation.

Severus was about to throw away the note when he had a brilliant idea. He sprinted off toward the staircases.

If Malfoy wanted to be a bastard, so could he. The note implied Malfoy would be alone. Severus could, oh he didn't know, possibly hex the popular boy a little bit (or alotta bit) and no one would know. He was good at hiding his handiwork.

He ran up a few more staircases and finally reached the right floor. After a few doors, he was able to find the correct room. He grabbed his wand and whispered, "Alohomora" and rushed into the room expecting to see a white blond head.

But there was no blond head; in fact, there was no other head beside Severus's. He was about to sigh and leave when the door slammed behind him and he was suddenly blindfolded. He felt himself being pushed into a chair and his wrist bounded to the armrest and ankles tied to the legs.

He yelled. "What the hell! Malfoy! You—"

"Oh, Severus," a blatantly female voice giggled into this ear.

"L-lily?" This was not what he was expecting. "Is that you?"

"Who else?" she said, running delicate, feminine hands over his shoulders and down his chest. Her hair, finer than he had expected, brushed against his face. He was having a hard time controlling his breathing.

"What are you doing?" He said, trying to sound calm although he was sure his voice was about five octaves higher than usual.

"Having fun, of course." She removed her hands and Severus had to force himself from moaning out in complaint. But she was back again but in a different place. Her hands brushed against the inside of his thighs. He bit his lips, trying not to say anything he would regret later. She moved her hands up along his thighs until they were gently squeezing his crotch. His thoughts were hazy, a tiny sliver of it being sensible, while the rest was in some horny animal frenzy.

One thought was able to shine through it all. _Lily would never do this._ No, she wouldn't. The Lily he knew was more likely to punch him in the gut than rub his crotch. He was about to express his disbelief and demand to have the blindfold taken off, when she gave him a harder squeeze that kicked the breathe out faster than a leg locking curse.

"Oh." Was the only thing he could utter.

One of her hands expertly unzipped his trousers while the other traveled under his jumper and shirt and along his bare chest. Her hands sneaked under his boxers and began to play with a very sensitive member.

He couldn't hold himself back anymore. He was moaning and jerking against the restraints holding him down. He wanted to see her, that gorgeous face looking up at him with brilliant green eyes.

"Please take, oh fuck, blindfold off," he weakly begged.

"Maybe later," she giggled. The hand on his chest slid down to join its partner. He felt his pants and boxers being pulled down. He lifted his hips as high as he could manage and felt the garments being pulled to his knees. There felt like a breeze running over him, but it was easily forgotten as she kissed the inside of his thighs, centimeter by centimeter, first right leg then left. Once done, she licked his cock, which felt like it was as hard as a rock, from the bottom to the tip. Her hands massaged the base and balls, as she placed it on her lips and slowly pushed it in further.

He was groaning like a madman at this point. Merlin, he wanted her so bad. He had thought about things like this way too often. In fact he was thinking about a situation similar to this that fateful day in the shower. But to have it happen? That's another thing entirely.

"Lily…" he moaned.

She abruptly pulled his cock out of her mouth. The sudden loss of it almost deflated him. "Don't call me Lily," she said angrily, "Call me L."

"What? Why?"

"Do you want me to do this or not?"

Severus was about to snap back at her, until he realized he was the one rock hard, tied to the chair, and with the no wand. Lily was a more than competent witch. He didn't want her wrath directed at him when he was so merciless. "Please, erm, L, continue."

"Good." She placed the dick in her mouth again, but this time much deeper. He could feel himself halfway eaten. She began to suck back and forth, slow then fast then slow, deeper and deeper. She was playing with him with her tongue and hands. Severus could barely breathe.

He was saying things he didn't understand because it felt so good. He _wanted_ this. He _needed_ this. He didn't even warn her before he came, but she seemed to know anyway and swallowed it quickly.

After a moment of gorgeous silence, she spoke. "How was it?"

"Blimey. Beyond, wow, brilliant." He was still out of breath.

"Good. Now let's take the blind off, shall we?" she said. Severus thought he heard a mocking tone, but he guessed she was just teasing him.

The blindfold disappeared into the air, leaving behind golden shimmers. When the shimmers disappeared, everything Severus was about to say disappeared as well.

Because staring up at him was none other than Lucius Malfoy. The boy smiled wickedly. "Like the voice change? I'm incredibly gifted with that spell. It comes terribly in handy." He was one of the scariest things Severus had ever seen—Malfoy talking with Lily's voice.

"You bastard!" Severus started screaming all of the profanities he knew at the egotistical bastard in front of him when other Slytherin silence him with a quick charm and returned his voice to normal.

"Ah, much better," he said, "You are so much nicer when you shut up. Now listen up, Snape, because this can ruin you more than it will ever ruin me. I don't mind telling everyone what happened in this room. Although, you may. So I advise you to go along with me. I like you. Not like in that way, wipe that look off your face. You," Malfoy paused thoughtfully before going on, "_amuse_ me. So I would love to do this again. And we will. Unless, of course you rather me tell the whole school about our little meeting. Understand? Good. I'll send you a note for the next meeting."

Malfoy almost skipped out of the room, leaving him behind. It took a good five minutes for the bounds on his ankle and wrists to disappear, and by that time he had lost any heart to chase after Malfoy.

_A/n: I hoped you liked it. Please send me reviews. Any feedback is good feedback :D_


	2. Part 2

_A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for all the awesome reviews on the last part. I wasn't expecting very much feedback at all, so all of you pretty much made my entire week. _

_Since this took me much too long to post, this part is about 1,000 words longer than the last. Sophomore year in high school has been busier than I expected (and I was expecting it to be fairly busy..) I'll try to post again within now and next week. Please read, review, and if you know someone who may be interested, send them this!_

_My only suggestion is to listen to some mellow dark music, like "Time Stops" by Explosions in the Sky or "Asleep" by the Smiths, to add to the bittersweet mood I was trying to give in this chapter._

_Lastly (I will shut up now, I'm sorry) thanks to my tres bonne beta, nuclear_glitter._

Part 2

Severus ran a pale hand through his thick, wavy mass of ebony black hair. His usual scowl was darker today. He looked around him, not understanding what all the excitement was about.

He saw a flash of red hair and was getting up from his chair when a giggling girl ran into him.

"Sorry, mate," she said, quickly, before running off.

Today was graduation day. His final day of ever being a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had arrived. Although most of peers and the few whom he called friends were excited to get out of school and begin their apprenticeships, Severus felt what could only be sadness. In fact, his mood had been lower than the bottom of the Black Lake since the end of the final exams. Maybe it was because he was leaving everyone he had ever known in order to study under one of the best Potion Masters of the Wizarding world in Italy, but Severus felt like it was more than that.

It was the fact he was leaving the first place to ever truly feel like home. His "home", or where his family lived, was no home. It was hell. He could barely remember a time when his parents weren't fighting and he couldn't hear the painful yells of his mother when his father struck her or the moans of his father when his mother turned her wand against him. His father was a disgusting man who hated most things—including magic—and had a knack for playing mind trips on his mother's weak mind to keep her with him. His mother could barely take care of herself, let alone her child. The only time he could ever remember being happy with his family was when he was six and he and his mother were sitting outside their home in Spinner's End looking up at the stars. She told him stories of his wizard ancestors and fables as she held him close in her lap.

Another person rammed into him, bursting him away from his thoughts, but this person didn't say sorry or run away. Instead he gave Severus a quick appreciative look over before whispering into his ear, "Same place and time?"

Severus frowned angrily. "I thought yesterday was the last time," he hissed.

"I need you, Severus. My family—I need to get away from them." He looked behind him nervously at a tall, thin couple. The woman could have been gorgeous had it not been for her pinched, pretentious expression that gave her the attributes of a rat. The man looked like an exact Lucius in forty years, except with short, white blond hair, more muscle, and a small white goatee.

"Fine," Severus said. He hated himself for it, but what else could he do. "I'll see you then."

Severus had spotted a vibrant mane of red-golden hair again. He left Malfoy to follow her. Although they hadn't been very good friends these past few years, with Lily hanging with Potter and his gang of airheads and Severus becoming more involved with Potions and Dark Arts, he had to see her one last time.

He followed her though the crowd of wizard and witches dressed in pastel spring robes as they milled around and enjoyed the fine, spring day.

He had almost reached her when he stopped in his tracks.

Lily was holding hands with Potter and seemed to be introducing him to her family, who looked as if they had never seen a finer boy. The only person who looked disgusted at it all was Lily's, arse faced sister, Petunia. This was the first time Severus had ever agreed with Petunia's judgment.

Severus spun on his heels and went back into the crowd.

* * *

><p>He loosened his bow tie and took off his robe, slinging it under his arm as he undid the top few buttons of his Oxford and pulled up his sleeves.<p>

He walked down the dirt path and into the Forbidden Forest. It was twilight by now; the tiny spark fairies were floating in the air lazily as they drank in the cool air. They weren't even real fairies; just a mix of butterflies, hummingbirds, and magic, with a human face. Usually they hated people walking through their small piece of territory on the cusp of the Forest, but they had gotten used to Severus. He weaved between them and the gigantic trees to go deeper in. He had traveled this path so many times for the past two years that he walked along in autopilot.

It was funny how many memories were entwined with walking down this path. He wasn't even sure why these memories even happened and why he had allowed it. Had he felt trapped? Had he enjoyed it or hated it? He had allowed this…this _thing_ with Malfoy to span two years with little argument or friction. He should have stopped it since he would never feel the same as Malfoy.

It had started in that one unused classroom. Then, the popular boy had sent a message to Severus and he had come unwillingly in order to save himself from total school humiliation. Of course, some would offer that Severus really didn't have it that bad: Malfoy was always the one in the giving position. Only once Severus had to give Malfoy a blowjob and he couldn't look the blonde in the face for weeks. They never spoke of the event again.

Otherwise it was Malfoy on his knees; Malfoy wagging his plump bum at a blindfolded Severus. Never did Severus have to sacrifice a large amount of dignity. Of course, he could have left at any time. After their small affairs, they sometimes spoke about those deep and scary thoughts that always come out after you've shared an orgasm with someone. Severus had enough dirt on Malfoy that he could have walked away with enough gossip to set off the entire school, yet he kept coming back.

The main problem was that Severus _wasn't_ gay, bi, or anything other than straight but he couldn't seem to get away from Malfoy. At first he blamed it on the other boy, but when two months of weekly visits passed and their meeting place was changed from the castle to the forest for more privacy, he wondered if he really enjoyed it. The thought of fucking any other guy disgusted him, yet he still didn't mind doing Malfoy. It was possibly because he was feminine in all the important places. His hands were soft and delicate, his bum plump and smooth, his hips padded with a thin casing of fat and muscle. When he reached an orgasm, he let out high octave gasps that were indistinguishable from a girl's.

Malfoy let Severus overpower him. He fed to Severus's ego by praising him, bowing to him. Severus ate it all up, unused to having someone treat him that way. Although, he never really treated Malfoy the same way. He wasn't rude or anything, but he just didn't feel the need to bow down, especially when everyone else treated him like a king.

He reached their usual spot. It was a kilometer and a half into the forest. It was a small, grassy bed, barely big enough for two, surrounded by tall trees and a few small nests of spark fairies. He laid down on the soft grass and looked up at the blue, pink, and orange sky through the budding, flower clad branches of the trees. He had never thought so much about his and Malfoy's relationship. Now that it was ending, he couldn't help but think over it all.

Footsteps crunched over to him. He glanced over at a tall, lean figure.

"Hey," Malfoy said softly. His eyes were glassy and his voice lofty. Malfoy was in one of his bittersweet moods that were only seen by the closest of his friends.

"Hey," Severus sighed. "I thought last night was the last time."

Malfoy bent down next to him and began to fiddle with his shirt. His eyes raked over Severus, taking in the thick, shiny, black hair, aristocratic nose and pursed lips to the elegant neck and thin, long body. "I can't. I have time tonight. Merlin, Severus you're beautiful. I can't not do this."

Severus scowled. Malfoy knew he didn't like being called beautiful or anything like that. They usually didn't have a problem about that because neither one of them were the emotionally, gushy type. It was just that sometimes Malfoy hit a point of desperation and would say all the things he would usually keep as thoughts. Severus didn't say anything about it though, seeing as this was the last time.

Malfoy went right in after that. The blow job was the best he had ever had. Every trick in the book was used in that one.

Surprisingly, they both had enough energy for a last, final fuck. The blond flipped over and spread his naked legs out. He whispered a spell so his hands were stuck to the ground and could only move along it but not above it. He liked being held down and jerked around. Severus never really understood it, but felt no need to question it.

Severus remembered the first time this had ever happened. Malfoy had made him not wear a blindfold that time and begged him to say "Lucius" and not "L." Severus hadn't even wanted to do it. When he first entered the other teen, he was shocked to find he was causing him pain and yet the blond wanted him to continue. He didn't want to, but at the end he said the name accidentally, which overjoyed Malfoy to no end.

This time, Severus was used to it. He lubed himself and slowly slid into the blond boy. Malfoy clenched him, grinding his teeth in response to the pleasurable pain. They went slow at first to get a good rhythm, but then they started to pound faster. He closed his eyes and conjured up the usual image of Lily, pretending this was her. He was going along just fine until right before he hit his climax. He opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of Malfoy. Severus's hands, which were a shade darker than Malfoy's skin, gripped tightly to the slim hips. Malfoy's back was carved in an impossibly deep arch and his face was raised with an expression of pure joy.

It was something about the way the tiny bit of silver light was hitting Malfoy, along with the glimmer of the spark fairies (who were kinky little bastards that loved to watch human sexual interactions) that made him appear ethereal. For a second, Severus realized how beautiful Malfoy was. Not the sexual beautiful, or the normal beautiful, but an unearthly beautiful that was so rare to find.

Severus gasped and exploded inside of Malfoy. He kept going a bit more until the blond had an orgasm as well. He pulled himself out, but stayed in the position for a moment. He looked down at his partner, who had collapsed on the ground with sweat leaving a shiny residue over his skin. The air smelled sweet and the sky was turning into a lazy, dark blue. For the first time in a while, he felt completely content.

He laid down next to Malfoy, who was staring down at the grass. Severus looked up at the sky. The air was just slightly warm, with a small tingling breeze. Malfoy sighed and turned his face toward Severus.

"The last time?"

"Yes," Severus said quietly.

"I'm able to visit," Malfoy said after minutes of silence.

"What?" He looked over at Malfoy.

"My new lord. He is a benevolent one. I asked and he will allow me to travel to Italy on occasion in order to study under the Dark Arts Masters there." Malfoy stared intently at his friend. "I can visit you. This doesn't have to be the last time Severus. We can still—"

"Malfoy listen to yourself. You can visit me, I don't mind, but don't go any further. We are only seventeen."

"But Severus, it is more than that. This is where our lives begin. My Master told me I have great things ahead of me if I continue with him and I want you to be there."

Severus scoffed, although he found Malfoy's words interesting. "Of course we will know each other; this will not be the last time we see one another. Just the last time we will do, erm, _this."_

"But I don't see why," Malfoy argued. He rested his head on his hands, elbows digging into the soft grass. His fair hair fell in wisps around his face. Severus realized that if Malfoy had been a girl, he would have been gorgeous. "We can still continue this. Nothing is holding us back. My Lord has nothing against relationships such as ours. To him, human need is simply human need."

Severus turned from Malfoy and looked back at the sky. "Malfoy...I don't-" Severus took a deep breathe. "I don't feel the way you do. I...don't-" he paused again, choosing his words wisely. "I want you to visit me in Italy. I would love that. I'm not sure what will happen, but it'll be great to see a familiar face."

Malfoy reached out and gently touched Severus's face. He tensed but turned back to the other boy. There was a fight going on behind both boys' eyes. Severus wondered if Malfoy would see past the politeness and into the truth that he didn't want a _relationship _like that. Malfoy was thinking about something else entirely, something disastrous...

"Right, well, then I'll visit you." Malfoy shoved away his thoughts and smiled.

"Good."

* * *

><p>The air was warm and humid, floating lazily in the breeze. Severus walked quickly down the cobbled street. The small village a few miles north of Naples was pleasant and quiet and boasted a large underground system of Dark Arts Wizards. It was a lovely place to live (the weather being much less fickle and moody as in England). Severus only had to be sure that he wore the proper attire to be recognized as an apprentice to those with magical blood while still looking normal to the Muggles.<p>

He worse loose, breezy, dark cotton pants and a mid-arm sleeved gray shirt. His dragon hide boots, although durable, were covered with splashes from miscalculated potions and his hands were riddled with Muggle Band-Aids. His Master told him they healed better by the natural way and he would learn nothing if he just magicked himself out of everything.

He turned down the path into a small ally. He walked in the tight space until he reached an opening the size and shape of a standard door. He entered and gingerly stepped over piles of rock and debris. The rood had large, crumbling holes that let in huge shafts of light that highlighted sharp edges and dust motes.

"Malfoy," he whispered.

A hand brushed against his face and weaved itself into his thick, wavy hair. He wore his hair a little below his jaw line; as was the fashion among the Italian wizards.

"Hey..." Malfoy whispered in Severus's ear. He kissed the other boy on the neck. Severus didn't like to kiss Malfoy. Well, he doesn't particularly like to do anything physical with Malfoy.

He had been in Italy for well over three years now. Malfoy used to visit him every two or three months, but the visits have slowly declined. Although Malfoy said it was because his "Lord" worked him hard, Severus believed it was because they didn't do much of what Malfoy wanted to do. The problem was the less he came to visit, the touchier he got. Severus remembered the last time; he had to almost peel Malfoy off of him.

Besides, Severus, had been seeing a few girls since he had moved to Italy. He was no longer in need of Malfoy's _services._ It felt horribly false now that Severus had other, more willing, options, even if they weren't serious. He figured it was best if he began to let Malfoy go, slowly.

But Malfoy had been becoming more serious every time he saw Severus. He kept talking about "how it was only a matter of time" until something was going to happen.

"It's all going to end, Severus," Malfoy had told him quickly at the end of their last meeting. "We are those few who have been chosen." Severus had tried to ask what he had meant, but the boy had already Apparated.

Malfoy felt the tension in Severus and pulled away. He sat on a rock and looked at Severus with serious green-blue eyes.

"Severus, I can't stay for long. My Master has traveled with me to Italy and does not like allowing me out of his sight. My wanderings have…displeased him." Malfoy winced but Severus knew not to ask.

"I have told him of you and your abilities. He wishes to meet you. It is a great honor that only a few…"

Severus frowned as Malfoy kept rambling on. The meeting had taken an odd turn. He wasn't expecting this.

"You told him of me?" Severus interrupted Malfoy.

He nodded slowly, looking at the holes in the ceiling. "Yes. He wanted to see who was the boy I kept visiting after all these years. He is impressed with what I told about you. You should meet him Severus. He is perfect for those like us."

"Who is your Master?" Severus asked. He heard Malfoy mention it a few times before but he had always forgotten it.

"He is known by many names, but most refer to him as Lord Voldemort," Malfoy answered.

Severus looked away, frowning. He had heard about this Lord Voldemort. Many Dark Art wizards and witches spoke about him, part supporting, part against, and a small part neutral. Severus's Master, admired the power of the emerging leader but didn't like the fascination with pure-bloods. Severus hadn't thought much about it.

"Doesn't he prefer pure-bloods?" Severus asked quietly.

"Yes, he likes them, but there are many half-bloods among our ranks," Malfoy said eagerly. "Severus, you are whispered about all over the Dark Arts World. You are the first person Dark Art Potion's Master De Luca has trained in years; your talent and potential is immeasurable. It would only benefit you if you meet with my Lord."

Severus sighed. "My Master—"

"Can meet him as well! Please."

Severus was quiet, biting on his lip. "Well, right. I shall ask him."

"Good."

* * *

><p><em>AN: What did you think? Please review and tell me! Thanks :)_

_-invisible indie kid _


	3. Part 3a

_Hey everyone! Long time, no see. But I hope you all are doing well. _

_Three quick things: _

_1) This chapter comes in 2 parts because it is horribly long and I haven't had all the time to type it all up. This is better than you think though, because this story is only about 4 parts, so this means you get 1 more part/section than originally planned. It's a bit shorter than the last one, but no less enjoyable (I hope)._

_2) Next, an awesome reader (DZAuthor AKA DZMom) pointed out that Lucius is older than Severus and thus they would not be attending school together. And, indeed, she is right! But since this story is more than slightly A.U, I hope you all won't hate me too much for changing up the time lines a bit._

_3) Keep in mind this story takes place over a lifetime, so most parts so there are years between each part/section. For example, 3.1 takes place about 3 years after the most recent part. Hope that helps. If it is still confusing, please tell me and I can explain/change things. _

_This part and the next part you will hear some straight from the thoughts of lovely Lucius. Enjoy :)_

_And as always, thanks to nuclear_glitter for being an amazing beta. _

Part 3.1

The wedding invitation was placed under a large stack of dusty, old research books, but a curved edge poked out from underneath the stack. An irked Severus stared upon it. A few red strands were weaved along the sides, the same hue of her hair. He waved his wand and the edge disappeared under the stack.

"My, my Severus. Still sulking over trivial matters, I presume?" a cool voice chuckled behind him.

He refused to turn around or respond.

"Well…" An aristocratic hand draped itself dramatically across the top of Severus's maroon and brown armchair. The hand mindlessly stroked a dark locket as he continued. "What is bothering you, my dear Severus?"

A few years ago, this would have been said with a loving tone, but now it was mocking and distrustful. Lucius wanted him to say something foolish to bring back to the Dark Lord. Severus knew of his manipulations of others to get higher in the ranks and was careful of what he said.

Not only that, but Malfoy always seemed to doubt Snape's loyalty. He didn't understand where these doubts even took root because there was no possible way for him to ever change his loyalties from the Dark Lord. At times, he wondered if it was jealousy but he had much less power, wealth, and prestige than Lucius.

Furthermore, what was most infuriating was Lucius innate talent for arriving at any inconvenient moment for others. At that very second, Lily Evans was becoming Lily Potter. It sickened Severus down to the smallest piece of matter in his body. It had taken him years to realize it, but he loved her. Since the first time he had spoken to her and she had given him one of her wild smiles after finding out she wasn't some magical freak, he had loved her.

She had cared about him when no one else had. She even defended him when their relationship was at odds. Now, she had sent him an invitation to her wedding and he hadn't had the courage to reply. He knew the Dark Load would be most displeased to hear about him acting this way toward a "mudblood"; the mere fact he had thought about attending would certainly inspire only the most severest of reactions.

Lucius moved his hand under the hair line so it brushed against soft skin.

Severus held back a comment he would regret. Lucius was high in the ranks and had the ability to get whatever he wished for. If Lucius wanted Severus to jump out that window, he would have to do if or face false accusations and harsh punishment.

Severus whispered something and the wedding invitation burst into flames.

The other man sighed. "Something to hide, Severus?" he murmured into Severus's ear.

He rose from his seat and began to wave his wand about to move items, such as a kettle onto the oven top. "I apologize. My home is not as acceptable as it should be for a visit such as yours," he spoke impassively. "Would you like tea?"

Lucius raised a manicured eyebrow, using a graceful finger to brush aside some hair to the back of his ear. He placed his unneeded cane down on the table and slid out of his royal blue wizarding robe, which magically flew over to the coat rake. He walked over to Severus slowly. His dragonhide dress shoes clicked against the wooden ground as he stared intently at Severus.

When he reached him, he leaned in and whispered, "_Tea_ is not the entertainment I wish to have provided for me during this meeting, Severus."

Severus deepened his frown. "We haven't done that in many years. Certainly it would be most impro—"

Malfoy chuckled. "It is not an easy thing to forget how to do. And neither of us have been much distraught over what is and isn't improper."

"Lucius, you may join me for a cup of tea if you are so inclined—"

Lucius crashed against other wizard's dark, rose mouth. He held Severus's face tightly as they meshed and molded their mouths, tongues, and teeth against one another. Oddly, they both kissed with equal vigor, but for different reasons one kissed for love and longing, while the other kissed because of the years's of vacancy of human physical contact.

A hand slid here, clothes fell down there, a frenzy to remember a time where it didn't mean anything because now it was the only thing they had.

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><p>He pulled the shrilly screaming kettle off the stone and poured the water into two large, maroon mugs with tea bags. Severus hadn't stirred from the bed yet, but Lucius wanted everything to be perfect when he awoke. He left one of the mugs on the stove to stay warm and took the other with him to drink on the armchair next to the bed.<p>

Severus's flat was small. Lucius didn't understand why he preferred to live here instead of his much more spacious home in Spinner's End. Nonetheless, it was well kept and filled with Potion and Dark Arts books, many of whom he remembered the Dark Lord had suggested for them to view. Despite the fact it was overall very welcoming, it stood over a crowded London Street where one could hear foul-mouthed tourists and locals mingling with badgering venders egging them on.

It irked him that Severus lived here. A few years after Severus's apprenticeship had ended, Lucius had proposed and was turned away with only a "no." Although he wanted to destroy him for it, he swallowed his pride and not six months ago married a pretty, pureblood girl named Narcissa. She was a nice enough girl and rarely spoke out of turn, but she bored him. Her opinions were always mundane and basic. She did not seem to realize sex was more than just a way to procreate, but could be reinvented in experimental and pleasurable ways. She bent to his will much too easily.

But Severus...he always challenged him. He rarely did what Lucius told him to do if he could help it. The challenge was exciting. On the rare occasions where he got the prize of beating Snape at his own mind game, he was still a happy man who crazed for more.

He remembered the first time he saw Severus Snape. It was their first year, Herbology class. The two had been partners. Lucius's first thought was that he was one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen. The nose, the unnaturally deep voice, and intelligent eyes—it all went downhill from that day. He had hoped he had had a chance, until he heard about the dark haired boy's infatuation with that red-headed mudblood, Lily Evans, and his obvious heterosexuality. This all not excluding the fact he had a clear disliking of the Malfoy heir.

Gratefully, an opportunity had arose, he had seized it, and look where he was sitting now. Admittedly, this was probably not where he was supposed to be, but it was better than having another uncomfortably polite conversation with Narcissa .

Lucius examined Severus's body with a keen eye. He had put on a little weight since they had their last affair all those years ago when Severus had fist gone to Italy, but it was only weight that came with age. His legs were long, sprawled out and intertwining with the sheets. His arms were flung to each side and his face was partially covered with rings of rich, black hair. He still kept his hair cut to about his chin and didn't seem to have any plans on changing the style.

There were times when Lucius wondered if Severus had ever really changed at all. He used to believe that one day Severus would fall in love with him, but he held no hope in that any longer. He also used to have this uncomfortable feeling that he was simply being used to satisfy the carnal needs of another. He would always brush it aside and remember all the good times they had had when sex wasn't involved, no matter how seldom they were.

He knew Severus would never truly be sexually attracted to him. So he went for a new method: flattery. He stayed because Lucius gave him his every wish. Severus wasn't selfish; he simply wasn't used to being treated with such high regard. It was like giving someone drugs for free: just a sample first, but sooner or later they become more addicted, and that comes with a higher price. Severus's form of payment was sex. Not so bad.

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><p><em>What do you think? Please send me reviews! The last part there were not many, and your reviews really make my whole month. I read them whenever I'm feeling down, crazy, or need inspiration. Thank you to all of you!<em>

_-invsibleindiekid _


	4. Part 3b

_Hey everyone. I'm sorry that is has been so long (more than a month!). I've been working really hard on this part and the next part, so I hope you enjoy them. The next part is going to be fucking gigantic. _

_This part is super short (sorry, again!) but, in my personal opinion, is the most powerful yet. When I first wrote it, and every time I read it now, I get a little weepy. Nonetheless, it is still one of my fav parts. _

_I personally think listening to music while reading is amazing for the mood. I suggest a mellow, bittersweet, and slightly sad type of song. _

_Beta creds to nuclear_glitter as always. _

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><p>Part 3.2<p>

He knew Severus would never truly be sexually attracted to him. So he went for a new method: flattery. He stayed because Lucius gave him his every wish. Severus wasn't selfish; he simply wasn't used to being treated with such high regard. It was like giving someone drugs for free: just a sample first, but sooner or later they become more addicted, and that comes with a higher price. Severus's form of payment was sex. Not so bad.

Lucius sipped carefully on his mug. Thinking more upon the matter, he realized it was better Severus was staying in his London flat. Strict wards were placed over each Death Eater's home that only a few could bypass. Lucius had the fortunate of bypassing Severus's flat's wards but could not enter Spinner's End without permission. It did not make much sense, but he dare not question his Master about the matter.

In fact, Lucius rarely questioned his Master, even when he sorely questioned his judgment. The Dark Lord trusted Severus more than he did Lucius, even though Lucius had followed him longer. It angered him for he did not see how Severus was so incredibly trustworthy, when in fact he was an excellent liar and manipulator. Severus was selfish; he wanted what he wanted and sulked if he could not receive it. Lucius knew Severus was extremely loyal to a select few, and would not become a traitor without stone hard reasons, but he could not help but wonder.

Severus had transferred over to the Dark Lord's quite easily, but that was understandable—the Dark side not only had more resources and information to quench the thirst of Severus's taste for the Dark Arts, but there was also more respect shown to him on the Dark side than any other group. This is not saying much, since the dark-haired man was a loner anyway, but it was better to have people respect him than cast him off as a freak.

But of course, there was Lily Evans. Lucius believed the other man's feelings for her ran deeper than he would like anyone to believe. With that said, although Severus seemed to have forgotten about her, Lucius felt that he had not. Severus was smart—he knew Evans would never date the likes of him and he was better off in a place that she was not. Lucius had to admire the other man's knack for making reasonable decisions.

Not to mention, it was Lily Evan's wedding today. Lucius had come by to see how Severus was doing and was surprised to find the man did not appear to be horribly distressed.

Severus began to stir. Lucius smiled and placed his mug on the bedside table. He crawled onto the bed, settling next to Severus's left leg and stoked it gently, up and down.

Severus mumbled, looking around the room with dream filled eyes, before bolting awake. "What—"

"Shush, Severus. Remember everything before you say something foolish." Lucius's voice was a low seductive purr.

Severus stared stupidly at Lucius before he remembered. He grabbed a bundle of covers to hide himself. "It is best for you to take your leave now," he growled.

Lucius lazily rolled his eyes, lying down on his back and stretching his arms and legs across the small bed. "Why? I am having such a lovely time."

"You have over stayed your welcome." Severus glared at the other man. His eyes were still pink from sleep and his hair was windblown across his head, shining like black wires. It hurt Lucius to look at him and not be able to touch him more. "Leave me."

Lucius sighed. "Do you truly wish for me to leave?" he whispered quietly. He was tired of getting sent around like a puppy. The Dark Lord sent him here, his wife ignored him so much he wanted to leave, and nobody wanted him around. He wanted to stay and not go back out onto the dirty London streets.

"Yes," Severus said quietly.

Lucius's face hardened. He stood and began to gather his things. He grabbed his wand and his clothes reappeared on him. Severus watched him with guarded eyes.

Lucius stood on the edge of the bed, staring down at Severus as he buttoned the last few buttons on his shirt. He nodded absently to himself.

"If I leave now, I won't ever come back." He looked Severus straight into the eye. "I'm so tired of this cat and mouse game, Severus," he banged his cane on the ground and leaned over this footrest of the bed. "Please, I need you now more than I needed you all those years ago. Will you not accept me, after all that I have done for you?"

Severus Snape looked away from him and out the window. In his mind's eye, a flash of red hair was whipping through the wind over and over again.

"Lucius, I am sorry, but I can never accept you the way you deserve."

Lucius snarled. "After all these years, Severus? After all that I have done for you? And you treat me with such distain? How dare you… you…insolent bastard!" he yelled. His face was a violent red and he was clenching his cane so hard it was cutting into his skin. "Do you not care? Are you so full of your own needs that you do not care for mine? I…I…" He stopped talking. The angry words he wanted to say would mean nothing. He could not even breathe.

He turned sharply on his heel and toward the door. He gripped the handle before turning back to Severus one last time.

"Look at me." His voice was as calm and chilling as an eye of a hurricane. "LOOK AT ME."

Severus looked up at Lucius.

"I cared about you, Severus. I think I even loved you."

He turned away and walked out of the door.

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><p><em>Did you like the ending? Please tell me what you though of it and the whole chapter! <em>

_Thanks,_

_invisibleindiekid _


	5. Part 4

_Hello everyone! It's been a while, but here is the next part. It's fairly nice-about 2,000 words, all for your enjoyment._

_I decided to extend this out to 5 parts. I've wrote a gigantic thing I thought I would cram into this, but my new ending for this part feels right. By the way, this chapter lapses over books 1-7 and takes place over a number of years. This may help when you are reading._

_Oh, and I don't own Harry Potter at all, but the giant chucks of italics are straight from the books (American version). All of these are written and owned by J.K Rowling and publisher's._

_The normal font is my work, and although I use HP characters, I do not own the series, movies, etc._

Part 4: Closing on the End

_Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air… Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand._

"_Don't kill me!"_

"_That was not my intention."_

_Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand._

"_Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"_

"_No—no message—I'm here on my own account!"_

_Snape was wringing his hands: He looked a little mad, with his straggling black hair flying around him._

"_I—I come with a warning—no, a request—please—"_

_Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other._

"_What request could a Death Eater make of me?"_

"_The—the prophecy…the prediction…Trelawney…"_

"_Ah, yes," said Dumbledore, "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"_

"_Everything—everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why—it is for that reason—he thinks it means Lily Evans!"_

"_The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July—"_

"_You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is doing to hunt her down — kill them all—"_

"_If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"_

"_I have—I have asked him—"_

"_You disgust me," said Dumbledore…contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"_

_Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore._

"_Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her—them—safe. Please."_

"_And what will you give me in return, Severus?"_

"_In—in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore….but after a long moment he said, "Anything."_

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><p>"<em>I thought…you were going…to keep her…safe…"<em>

"_She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"_

_Snape's breathing was shallow._

"_Her boy survives," said Dumbledore._

_With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly._

"_Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"_

"_DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone…dead…"_

"_Is this remorse, Severus?"_

"_I wish…I wish _**I** _were dead…"_

"_And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."_

_Snape seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him._

"_What—what do you mean?"_

"_You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."_

"_He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone—"_

"_The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."_

_There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, "Very well. Very well. But never—never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…especially Potter's son…I want your word!"_

"_My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist…"_

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><p>The Great Hall was filled with the excited, mindless chatter of students. Severus could understand their excitement; it was nice to be back in the warmth and comfort of Hogwart's walls, but it would be lovely if they did not feel the need to screech like banshees.<p>

His eyes swept up and down each table until he hit Gryffindors'. The Professor's glaze landed on a familiar head of unruly black hair.

_Merlin, he is an exact clone of his father._ He couldn't help but sneer at that unfortunate fact.

The boy turned to look up at the Teacher's Table, spotting the Potions Master. Severus kept back a gasp as he looked at the boy's eyes. _Exactly like Lily's._ He was so taken aback by it a huge wave of love and guilt coursed through him. The boy may have felt it too. He gripped that famous scar painfully and turned away to speak with one of the Weasley brothers.

_Oh god…_

The boy had the same knack as his father for getting into trouble. From one moment to the next, he had somehow bypassed dozens of enchantments created by professors, only to end up gaining the Sorcerer's Stone. Next, he was being called the Heir of Slytherin and killing basilisks, to being attacked by werewolves, and next year being entered into the Triwizard Tournament. The list continued on and on. It was tiring chasing after the boy all over the castle while trying to attend to all his other duties. The strain of it all was deflating him year by year. He found wrinkles he was positive he had never seen before and come to realize Madame Upput's Magical Hair Glosser's slogan "Never have a gray hair again!" was false compared to the multiple empty bottles of it stacked by his rubbish bin.

Although, even with everything he must do, he was still able to find joy in some activities. Often, when punishing Potter Jr., he often imagined he was punishing the boy's father. The look of anger on Harry's face was almost delicious.

Dumbledore was an interesting companion. The man's ideas were brilliant, but could be biased and the debates that ensued were not only challenging but invigorating.

Once in a while he played with a dirty fun, but only with a few female prostitutes. Rarely, did it provide him with much satisfaction. He even was tempted to follow the advice of a few other professors who had some special student companions, but the only girl who caught his eye, he wouldn't dare touch. He knew she was not the type to be found of such interactions.

Speaking with the students of his house was another favorite past time of his. They were a proud group of young people who, if lead in the correct direction, had the talent to become respectful witches and wizards. Although some of their families were not the sort who Snape enjoyed to spend time with, he was willing to help shape the minds of their children.

One such boy was Draco, Lucius's son. He was a spitting image of his father, excluding his weak chin and watery blue eyes that obviously belonged to his mother. He was different from his father when personality came into question: Lucius was more of a follower, conservative, and traditional. Draco, however, had an original wit and was a leader, and appeared more liberal and understanding in more mannerisms.

Of course, there were moments when Snape would hear about Lucius…

"_Look, I saw Voldemort come back!" Potter shouted. He tried to get out of bed again, but Mrs. Weasley forced him back. "I saw the Death Eaters! I can give you their names! Lucius Malfoy—"_

_Snape made a sudden movement, but…his eyes flew back to Fudge…_

* * *

><p>"<em>I've warned you Snivellus," said Sirius, his face barely a foot away from Snape's. "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better—"<em>

"_Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Snape. "Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother's hour for six months very seriously?"_

"_Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?"_

Snape kept himself from showing any facial expression to this. Sirius could never have known…could he?

* * *

><p>But he never tried to seek him out, or speak with him. It had been years and the only communication he had with him was strictly polite letters regarding Draco or plans of the Dark Lord's.<p>

Overall, teaching at Hogwarts was an enjoyable enough pastime. It was nice to have people fear and respect you, rather than punish you for your differences.

But of course, teaching was his side job, and the opinions of children rarely mattered in comparison with his actual mission. He had to be slyer than ever before—the Dark Lord did not like traitors.

Severus had a much better excuse than the other unloyal Death Eaters. He had become Dumbledore's pet, the one man Voldemort had yet to overpower. Dumbledore trusted Severus, yet Severus was loyal to the Dark Lord (or so it appeared). When suggested in this manner, Lord Voldemort could not overlook the importance the Hogwart's Potions Master was to him, now. Severus had his fair share of torture from Voldemort in order to make it appear how ruthless the old man was, but not enough to actually do much damage.

Voldemort could not have his best chess piece damaged before the match had even started.

Even with all of this, more was added to his plate. He agreed to take an Unbreakable Vow to protect Lucius's son. It angered him to see the boy be pushed to prove himself when it was only to make up for the shortcomings of his father.

At meetings held at the Malfoy Manor, Severus looked at Lucius's face, and only saw the shadow of a man he once knew. The Malfoy patriarch had the gaunt and unshaven cheeks, glazed eyes, and crumbling sanity of a starved man. The proud, strong Lucius was gone; he was replaced with a weak, undependable clone.

He could barely stand up against the simple pestering of his own wife, let alone the Dark Lord. He was allowing his teenage son to take his place in a world hostile to a grown man. Draco, full of the childish need to prove himself, lapped right out of Voldemort's hand. But Severus saw the true face of Draco—he was scared and was crumbling from all of the pressure. Severus decided to help protect him from the same fate as his father.

In the long, dark hallways of their home, Severus could sometimes hear Lucius and Narsissa whisper.

"He is too young. You must stop this madness, Lucius," she would urge him.

"No, he is a man. He can take care of himself." Lucius's voice had dimmed, as well, no longer commanding a presence. He words fell like dust, soft and worthless.

The only person Severus did not see much of was Potter. He was hiding out there, somewhere in the forests of Europe with his crew of Granger and Wesley, in search of Horcuxes.

Severus knew his mother would be proud of him. This proudness leaked onto Severus, who marveled at the fact the boy was still alive. He held hope to the belief Potter would kill Voldemort. For all of Potter's shortcomings, he had a fierce spirit of loyalty and courage that would help him destroy the man who killed his mother, Lily Evans.

But Severus was alone. He had no one, and although this fact was a reoccurring theme in his life, it was oddly depressing as war loomed over the Wizarding world. His parents had died long ago, he had no known siblings, and everyone was afraid to say a word near him in fear of the Dark Lord getting a whiff of it.

He had a feeling he would die soon. All had to die and when he set about his mission he knew he would likely not live to an old age. What saddened him was he knew no one would remember him fondly. No one loved him, and for anyone who had tried, he had thrown them into the rubbish bin. The whole bloody mess of things was his fault.

He was willing to die for his sins, but it was still a bleak ending.

Then, the battle arrived.

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><p><em>Major thanks to <em>_**Yunak, Gelatolover, fuckyeahsnape, seeing-is-believing, DZAuthor AKA DZMom, Mel, and Callidora-Malfoy**__ for sending me reviews. They give me inspiration every time I read them._

_Everyone, __**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE**__ send reviews. I keep getting emails that all these awesome people have added this to their Story alerts and favorties, but I would love to know what you personally thing about this story._

_Just take 2 minutes and tell what you think so far. I would appreciate it so much!_

_Big thanks to nuclear_glitter for editing._


	6. Part 5

_Hello everyone._

_It's been a while hasn't it? I'm terribly sorry. Life is crazy for us all, but I hope you enjoy the chapter. I made it long to make up for all the lost time All the parts that are in italics and not Author's Notes are from the Unites States Edition of_ Harry Potter and the Death Hallows.

_Enjoy :)_

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><p>Hogwarts was beautiful even when it was crumbling. Great chunks of stone fell as they were hit by spell after spell. Fires leaped, dancing around wizards and witches as they twirled, fighting, dodging and spinning. The air was thick with ages old tension finally broken. Bleak excitement mixed with fear as silvers of blood streamed down stone steps and corridors.<p>

Severus had for many years known this day would arrive. Yet, now that it was playing out before him, he found it surreal.

"The Dark Lord wishes to see you," a subordinate Death Eater said, bowing to Severus.

"Where is he?"

"In the Shrieking Shack. Would you like me to escort you there, sir?"

"No, I know my way. Leave me." Severus walked away from the tree he was leaning against. He could hear the screaming and crashing noise traveling down from the crumbling castle. It was hard to recognize this place as the same place where he had had his happiest memories. Days spent learning, talking to the few friends he had, or just sitting, staring up at a gorgeously infinite sky and dreaming about everything he would hope to achieve one day…

He found it laughable all these pathetic childhood memories were the last things he would think about. He knew there was a slim chance he would be able to survive this encounter with the Dark Lord. Part of him wanted to turn and accomplish everything he had ever wanted, no matter how impossible it was.

He stood outside the Shrieking Shack. The surreal bubble he had been encased in a few moments earlier popped. This building did not have the flashing lights or gory screams of the old castle. It was still, dark, so old and worn. Snape felt as if he had found a sort of brother in the building.

Through a few of the foggy windows he could make out a thin pacing figure. Taking a deep breathe, he stepped inside.

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><p>"…<em>my Lord, their resistance is crumbling—"<em>

"—_and it is doing so without your help," said Voldemort in his high, clear voice. "Skilled wizard though you are, Severus, I do not think you will make much difference now. We are almost there…almost."_

"_Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter. I know I can find him, my Lord. Please."_

_Voldemort stood up._

"_I have a problem, Severus," said Voldemort softly._

"_My Lord?" said Snape._

_Voldemort raised the Elder Wand, holding it as delicately and precisely as a conductor's baton._

"_Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?"_

"_My—my Lord?" said Severus blankly. "I do not understand. You—you have performed extraordinary magic with that wand."_

"_No," said Voldemort. "I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary, but this wand…no. It has not revealed the wonders it has promised. I feel no difference between this wand and the one I procured from Ollivander all those years ago."_

"_No difference," said Voldemort again._

_Snape did not speak._

_Voldemort started to move around the room. "I have thought long and hard, Severus…Do you know why I have called you back from battle?"_

_Snape's eyes were fixed upon the coiling snake in its enchanted cage._

"_No, my Lord, but I beg you will let me return. Let me find Potter."_

"_You sound like Lucius. Neither of you understands Potter as I do. He does not need finding. Potter will come to me. I know his weakness, you see, his one great flaw. He will hate watching the others struck down around him, knowing that it is for him that it happens. He will want to stop it at any cost. He will come."_

"_But my Lord, he might be killed accidently by one other than yourself—"_

"_My instructions to my Death Eaters have been perfectly clear. Capture Potter. Kill his friends—the more, the better—but do not kill him._

"_But it is of you that I wished to speak, Severus, not Harry Potter. You have been very valuable to me. Very valuable."_

"_My Lord knows I seek only to serve him. But—let me do and find the boy, my Lord. Let me bring him to you. I know I can—"_

"_I have told you, no!" said Voldemort. "My concern at the moment, Severus, is what will happen when I finally meet the boy."_

"_My Lord, there can be no question, surely—?"_

"—_but there _is _a question, Severus. There is."_

_Voldemort halted as he slid the Elder Want through his white fingers, staring at Snape._

"_Why did both the wands I have used fail when directed at Harry Potter._

"_I—I cannot answer that, my Lord."_

"_Can't you?"_

_Voldmort looked into Snape's pale face._

"_My wand of yew did everything of which I asked it, Severus, except to kill Harry Potter. Twice it failed. Ollivander told me under torture of the twin cores, told me to take another's wand. I did so, but Lucius's wand shattered upon meeting Potter's."_

"_I—I have no explanation, my Lord."_

_Snape was not looking at Voldemort now. His dark eyes were still fixed upon the coiling serpent in its protective sphere._

"_I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Want, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore."_

_And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape's face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes._

"_My Lord—let me go to the boy—"_

"_All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner…and I think I have the answer."_

_Snape did not speak._

"_Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You had been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."_

"_My Lord—"_

"_The Elder Want cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Want belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Want cannot be truly mine."_

"_My Lord!" Snape protested, raising his wand._

"_It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."_

_And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand. It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second__seemed to think __he had been reprieved: But then Voldemort's intention became clear. The snake's cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything more than yell, it had encased him, head and shoulders, and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue._

"Kill"

_There was a terrible scream. Snape's face was losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake's fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor._

"_I regret it," said Voldemort coldly._

_He turned away; there was no sadness in him, no remorse. It was time to leave this shack and take charge, and a wand that would now do his full bidding. He pointed at the starry cage holding the snake, which drifted upwards, off Snape, who fell sideways onto the floor, blood gushing from the wounds in his neck. Voldemort swept from the room without a backward glance, and the great serpent floated after him in its huge protective sphere._

* * *

><p><em>Harry did not know why he was doing it, why he was approaching the dying man: He did not know what he felt as he saw Snape's white face, and the fingers trying to staunch the bloody wound at his neck. Harry took off the Invisibility Cloak and looked down upon the man he hated, whose widening black eyes found Harry as he tried to speak. Harry bent over him, and Snape seized the front of his robes and pulled him close.<em>

_A terrible rasping, gurgling noise issued from Snape's throat._

"_Take…it…Take…it…"_

_Something more than blood was leaking from Snape. Silvery blue, neither gas nor liquid, it gushed from his mouth and his ears and his eyes, and Harry knew what it was, but did not know what to do—_

_A flask, conjured from thin air, was thrust into his shaking hands by Hermione. When the flask was filled to the brim, and Snape looked as though there was no blood left in him, his grip on Harry's robes slacked._

"_Look…at…me…"he whispered._

* * *

><p>His eyes closed and he felt himself drifting away in a cool, watery darkness. He no longer tried to hold on to life.<p>

The peace started shaking him painfully. More than anything else he wanted it to stop.

_Please just stop. I have done my time._

"Severus, please awaken. Please." The peace around him had tears in its voice.

His lids, thick with drying blood, cracked open slowly. Before him kneeled a dirty, disheveled Lucius Malfoy. There were tears running from his red eyes and leaving tracks over his sweat and filth covered face.

Severus groaned.

"Why, Severus, why?" His voice was quiet and loving, like a mother speaking to her child. Lucius held Severus's face gently. He used his sleeve and began to wipe some blood from his face. "You should not have done this. Why must you sacrifice yourself like an animal for slaughter? You are worth more than this…" Lucius smiled weakly. "You always were the self-sacrificing type. Certainly one of your most attractive qualities." He chuckled feebly.

He drew out a wand, obviously not his due to its modest design. "I shall heal you of your wounds, Severus. Hold—"

"No." The word was strongly disturbing coming from a man who looked Death itself.

"You do not wish to live on? You have every chance and opportunity to create a new life." Lucius's eyes had hysterical gleam to them now. "We could hide you away from the Dark Lord, send you to America or something. I could go with you. Please, please…"

Lucius's head fell as tears began to stream from his face faster. His words were so idiotic he could not even pretend it was possible. He looked at Severus, whose face at that moment was the sharpest, most visible thing to him. Severus had an aura of calm. He was content to die and Lucius realized the only true way to honor his friend was to give him what he wished.

He cradled Severus's upper body in his lap.

"Would you like to hear of the day I realized I loved you?"

There is a flick of an eyelid on Severus's face.

"It was our fourth year. I had always through you were appealing before then but nothing to run after. It was a gorgeous day and our usual group was lounging by the Lake. Crabbe was doing something stupid as usual with the giant squid and thus fell down and soaked himself thoroughly. I heard a laugh behind me. I turned, and there you were. You were laughing and walking towards us, the sun hitting you in such a way that made me think an angel was walking towards me. That was the moment." The steady stream of tears had stopped, replaced with a glow of hope.

"We have made plans, Severus, to leave in case…in case the Dark Lord does not succeed. Although I'm sure he will…I just have to protect my boy. I have not been a proper father lately and I must not repeat any mistakes my father made."

Severus was closing his eyes slowly. A minuscule smile was on his face.

"One day, this will all end, Severus. The destruction, the hate, everything. And it will all be because of you, Severus. You helped end all of it."

The man in his arms had stopped breathing. Lucius stared at him. That body use to contain the soul of Severus Snape.

"Rest in peace, my love."

* * *

><p>While Severus Snape was making his final departure from this world, there was a boy, not yet eighteen, who looked in need of a shower very badly. He was bloody and dirty but determination marked his face. Determination and a lightening shaped scar, which was surrounded by angry red skin.<p>

He stood in the office, which had once belonged to two men he knew very well. One he admired and one he had hated. Both of which he saw murdered.

He took a flask filled with silvery liquid and poured it into a larger container. Slowly, he bent over the container and placed his head into it.

* * *

><p><em>Two girls were swinging backwards and forward, and a skinny boy was watching them from behind a clump of bushes. His black hair was overlong and his clothes were so mismatched that it looked deliberate: too short jeans, a shabby, overlarge coat that might have belonged to a grown man, an odd smocklike shirt.<em>

_Snape looked no more than nine or ten years old, sallow, small, stringy. There was undisguised greed in his thin face as he watched the younger of the two girls swinging higher and higher than her sister._

"_Lily, don't do it!" shrieked the elder of the two._

_But the girl let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quiet literally flown, launched herself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly._

"_Mummy told you not to!"_

_Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground, making a crunching, grinding sound, then leapt up, hands on hips._

"_Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"_

"_But I'm fine," said Lily, still giggling. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."_

_Petunia glanced around. The playground was deserted apart from themselves and, though the girls did not know it, Snape. Lily had picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Snape lurked. Petunia advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many lipped oyster._

"_Stop it!" shrieked Petunia._

"_It's not hurting you," said Lily, but she closed her hand on the blossom and threw it back on the ground._

"_It's not right," said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower's flight to the ground and lingered upon it. "How did you do it?" she added, and there was definite longing in her voice._

"_It's obvious, isn't it?" Snape could no longer contain himself, but had jumped out from behind the bushes. Petunia shrieked and ran backward toward the swings, but Lily, though clearly startled, remained where she was. Snape seemed to regret his appearance. A dull flush of color mounted the sallow cheeks as he looked Lily._

"_What's obvious?" asked Lily._

_Snape had an air of nervous excitement. With a glance at the distant Petunia, now hovering besides the swings, he lowered his voice and said, "I know what you are."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You're…you're a witch," whispered Snape._

_She looked affronted._

"That's _not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"_

_She turned, nose in the air, and marched off toward her sister._

"_No!" said Snape. He was highly colored now. He flapped after the girls, looking ludicrously batlike, like his older self._

_The sisters considered him, united in disapproval, both holding on to one of the swing poles as through it was the safe place in tag._

"_You _are,"_said Snape to Lily. "You _are _a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard._

_Petunia's laugh was like cold water._

"_Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returned now that she had recovered from the shock of his unexpected appearance. "_I _know who _you _are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. "Why have you been spying on us?"_

"_Haven't been spying," said Snape, hot and uncomfortable and dirty haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway," he added spitefully, "_you're _a Muggle."_

_Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, he could hardly mistake the tone._

"_Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly._

* * *

><p>"…<em>and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside of school, you get letters."<em>

"_But I _have _done magic outside school!" _

"_We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven," he nodded importantly, "and they start training you, then you've got to go careful."_

"_It _is _real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is _real, isn't it?"_

"_It's real for us," said Snape. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."_

"_Really?" whispered Lily._

"_Definitely," said Snape._

* * *

><p><em>This is the final part before the epilogue. Any commentsreviews are really appreciated._


	7. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

Lucius Malfoy laid on a bed of white cloth, surrounded by only his closest family and friends. His hair was white and long, splayed out beautifully over his pillow. His skin was translucent, blue veins making pathways all over him. Wrinkles heavily covered his thin arms and hands, but his old face was oddly smooth. The proud man he once was was still there, slightly hidden by age.

To his right was his son, Draco Malfoy and his son, Scorpius. Draco appeared calm, but his eyes were puffy from late night tears. On his left was Lucius's wife, Narcissa, who had managed to conjure up tears of her own. She was stroking his thin hand, running her fingers over and over his simple wedding ring. A smattering of a few other people were in the room.

Lucius sighed and smiled as best he could but his mind was focused on the next phase. He closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breathe. He had already said his last remarks to each person a few minutes before. Now, it was time to say his last remarks to himself.

"Severus…"

He stopped holding on and let himself go.

* * *

><p><em>Gah! This is it, everyone. <em>

_Thank you to the many of you who have read this. Thank you to those who have been with this since December 2011 and thank you to everyone after that. Thank you to everyone who posted reviews and told me what they thought. I know that are some really amazing, awesome people who have stuck with this for so long and have never sent in a review about what they think. Now is truly the time to speak your mind._

_I may post an extra chapter, about some of the events from the perceptive of Lucius. I need to know what _you _think: should I or should I not?__  
><em>

_Lastly, thanks to nuclear_glitter, who saw all my potential and helped kick my arse into action. You really helped me become who I am now. She is the best beta anyone could ask for. _

_Thank you. Merci. _

_The Invisible Indie Kid. _


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